8 Steps To Turn Strangers Into Friends

Photo by Asif Akbar from Freeimages

Introverts find it very difficult to open up among strangers, it doesn't mean they aren't good with conversations. 

There is a part in each of us who craves attention & wants to socialize more, but the problem is that most people are shy. 

There is a reason why we find it difficult talking to strangers & related to our childhood. While growing up, most of us have been told countless times Don't talk to Strangers or Stay Away from Strangers.

 It could also be due to our overuses of technology, most people chat online with strangers but it doesn't involve face-to-face interaction. 

There is something magical that happens when we interact with people physically, which also counts touch. 

So, next time you find a stranger, Don't be shy and follow the steps.


1. Watch their Work

Your 1st step when interacting with a stranger should be watching their work, it doesn't mean you should be spying on them in order to find their occupation.NO! It simply means to watch carefully what activity they are involved in.

For Example, If you are on a morning walk, then it's obvious that they also are walking.

Congratulations, you have just got a topic to talk upon. You can now go and introduce yourself while walking together.

Watch the activity people are involved in.

2. Be Confident

Even if you are watching their work, you need the confidence to introduce yourself. Confidence is a critical point where most introverts make mistakes.

 They try very hard to look confident, but they fail to fake it. You can't fake it, so make it. 

Inner-confidence is the way you should be using when approaching strangers. 

What is it? Look at your own achievements ( without any comparison), what you have achieved so far will help you to embrace your true confidence. 

The Best way to face your greatest fear is to just face it.

3. Introduce Yourself.

When meeting with someone for the first time, make sure your clothes are clean. 

According to research, People instantly judge by the way you look, even if you are not so superficial. 

When we talk about instant likability, wearing clothes which make you feel comfortable & confident helps a lot. 

Put that shirt or that pair of shoes which you think, you should wear.

Only wearing nice clothes or improving your appearance will not help if your body language is not proper. Body language is the most interesting & important topic to learn, which most people don't pay attention to.

 Your body language is a representation of your subconscious behavior. You need to learn it from experts, but now basic will suffice. 

For Example, Your smile should be natural, not intimidating. Walk confidently, Make smooth eye contact, Be more open & make your hands visible.

Be Nice, Wear Nice.

4. Engage in that work.

After you introduce yourself, just go engage in a similar activity. If they are walking, you can ask them to walk together.

 Most of our true friends are called so because we have shared some activity together. There is a 40% more chance of making friends by engaging in similar activities than only talking.

Remember why it was so easy for most of us to make friends in school? In school, we are not only for conversations but also for the work. 

Teachers give students certain tasks in groups to complete. We all hate school, but in the same way, we learned great things from it, like teamwork & sympathy. 

After all, Humans are social creatures.

Socializing is all about engaging.

5. Ask about themselves.

Every individual on this planet loves to talk about themselves. People are more interested in their lifestyle more than anything else. 

We don't exactly want a car, home or a particular relationship, but we secretly focus on the lifestyle coming with it.

 The formula of likeability says We like people who are like us. 

People connect with people with similar interests, everybody knows that Right? 

Talk more about the things they are interested in, its true for every situation. Ask as many questions, but make sure it shouldn't look like an interview.

People love themselves.

6. Stop talking, Keep listening.

If you keep talking about yourself & how great you are, there will be very little chance of making friends.

 As mentioned earlier, people are not going to be interested in you as long as you are interested in them. 

People don't care what you, but they do care how well you listen to them. We have one mouth & two ears, so talk less, listen more.

You should listen to them in detail. People can literally talk for hours, even if you meeting them the first time.

 What if people stopped talking & start asking about you? 

Don't worry, you can tell them a little bit about you, change the topic & ask them again.

Keep questioning, that's the key.

7. Ask for future updates.

Once you both find that your conversations have gone too deep, just stop talking. You are not going to make the mistake of boring interest sharing most people make. Ask for his or her future updates like what they are doing this weekend/month or year. 

Real or close friends are made by frequent meetings, activities & more. Once you meet someone on a daily basis, your brain sees it as a pattern that gives a signal: NO MORE STRANGERS. 

Once you know what the person is going to do at a particular time, you must go & try to join them. Keep using Step 7 to develop a strong friendship connection.

Be frequent when meeting people.

8. Leave them with a Smile.

You want a particular person to remember you, so make sure you smile. You should keep smiling all day because of its huge advantages.

 90 percent of attraction happens due to smiling. Wearing a smile is more important than wearing expensive clothes. 

If you are self-critical & find it embarrassing showing your teeth, then don't show it. Simply smile with mouth closed. 

Keep smiling, that looks good on you.

The BOTTom line-

Meeting new people is becoming an essential part of our life, so we shouldn't hide from it.

We should embrace our shortcomings & learn from them.

Keep smiling when meeting new people, always remember to respect people, be helpful & keep socializing.

It is also recommend that you read the classic How to win & influence people because it contains some of the best insights on social life.